In my last article I mentioned nine techniques for handling loss or relationship breakdowns.
The third of these was to be nice to your “Inner Child” because that is the persona within you who suffers these gut-wrenching feelings during loss or relationship breakups because its expectations haven’t been met.
The reality is that in this world, almost no-one gets their expectations met.
That said, we still mostly assume that they will be met – and thus we set ourselves up for acute hurt and immense disappointment when they aren’t.
No-one is above such circumstances.
Jesus hoped for a happier outcome.
Mohammed wished for a smoother outcome.
Confucius desired a different outcome.
Sai Baba was certain of an unobtained outcome.
And Buddha unsuccessfully tried to have no set outcomes at all.
It would be foolish to propose we lived our lives without any expectations – that is far too great a jump for most of us to authentically make, myself included.
However, we can modify what having these presumptions means to us……..And reduce these assumptions from concrete finalities and must-haves………. all the way through the idea of expectations as goals-that-must-be-achieved-if-humanly-possible………right down to trustworthy visions that are richly valuable and well worth striving toward.
If such visions are not met because other opportunities intervened and presented themselves on the way we are then, at least, gifted with the benefits of these new opportunities (rather than be simply left bemoaning the loss of our cherished hopes).
By simply making this gentle perspective change from rigidity of expectation to fluidity of vision (lived with faith that the Universe will guide us, safely, as is best for us) we can start to live free of much of the pain we would otherwise experience.
Try this for yourself if you are moving through a period of loss (loss of family, loved one, money, job, opportunity, etc)
I deeply hope that helps you or someone you know!
Stay brave and focused.
Remember – much of the pain you feel will pass the moment you drop your expectations!
Have a beautiful week!