Am I suggesting it’s as easy as choosing? Yes! But let me add that it’s equally important what you choose.
Everyone of us hurts at some time in our life. It seems to be a natural expression for every being human being. And yet the truth is that it’s not natural!
Hurting is that feeling we hold onto when our expectations aren’t met.
Maybe we wanted to pass an exam but we failed.
Maybe we wanted a relationship to last a lifetime but it turned sour and died.
Maybe we wanted our career to last forever but we found ourselves retrenched.
Maybe we wanted our spouse to behave one way but they behaved another.
Maybe we expected our family to act a certain way but they let us down.
Maybe we expected our car to last another ten years but the motor packed it in.
Maybe we expected our offspring to outlive us but they didn’t.
Maybe we expected absolute honesty but only received information on a ‘need to know’ basis.
Maybe we hoped a business venture would be wildly successful but it wasn’t.
Maybe we hoped our children would become doctors and lawyers but they chose to become bobcat operators and nurses instead.
Maybe we hoped our government had all the answers but we find they don’t even address our questions.
Maybe we hoped it would be sunny on Sunday but it rains.
Everytime we have an expectation regarding something outside ourself we expose ourself to the possibility of non fulfillment. After all, we have no power or control over another, society or the natural world. Everything outside ourself is just that – outside ourself.
Our powers and controls are limited to the immense being which we are within. Step outside that territory and we have no jurisdiction. At best we may have a little influence….
So the secret of not getting hurt (and moving on, if we already have been) is to choose.
Firstly, we can choose to live in the now. Right now is all there is right now, the past is now behind us and the future will have to wait. In this space – now – the event that happened that hurt us is not happening. By staying in this space, this now, we can free ourselves from living in its space.
Secondly, to do so we can choose to leave yesterday behind us. If we drag it into today with us we’ll be plagued with it, but if we can just leave it where it was it can no longer affect us. Of course, most of us are so addicted to unhappiness that we’ll actually go looking for our hurts so we can drag them forward with us and thus continue our misery. To stop hurting we simply let them go and leave them behind us, where they belong.
Thirdly, we can choose to see our hurts for what they really are. They’re our unfulfilled expectations. They have no reality other than having been our own personal hopes and wishes. We should hardly blame the world – and express such blame as hurt – just because we didn’t get what we wanted and expected.
Let us remember that the world isn’t here to give us what we privately wish for – but rather to let us evolve into who we truly are: divine beings of great courage, strength, truth, love, integrity, tolerance, patience and compassion.
Fourthly, we can choose not to have such firm expectations about our treatment from the world and everyone who shares it with us. We can choose, instead, to have preferences.
If our preferences aren’t fulfilled we’re more likely to get over it quickly and get on with life. After all, it was only a preference – it wasn’t as if we expected it to happen!
Of course, if it does, that’s a bonus!
Either way, life becomes a joyful adventure, full of secrets, surprises and wonderful challenges to keep us on our toes!
The result is no dependency on expectations needing to be met. This means a far more stress-free life as we’re no longer dependent for our happiness on successfully managing and manipulating the behaviour of others.
An Affirmation: I now choose my own preferences in life but I am happy to adjust to accommodate all the experiences that life chooses for me, knowing divine power resides in me, as me, for me.
More in a fortnight!
Blessings and Love,