Our negativity is an addiction.
Addictions take many forms from being addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and gambling to being addicted to sex, celibacy, money, poverty, love, hate and everything in between. Addiction is a habit we don’t seem to be able to find the energy to break.
Habits are a form of ownership and need.
Owning recurrent behaviour, anticipated outcomes, invisible statuses and non-physical possessions develops in childhood through identification with the dysfunctional habits of those we seek to emulate. We simply copy the damaging addictive conduct of parents, older siblings, school and church leaders who, by example, were assumed to be teaching us that success came through ownership. Ownership included owning people’s minds, hearts, votes and future. It also included owning one’s own repetitive behaviour, no matter how destructive such conduct might be. The behaviour seems necessary for our survival.
Having habits comes easily.
Most of us who have ever attended a seminar have experienced that pang of loss when we return from the first break to find someone else sitting in ‘our’ chair.
Almost all of us who had a childhood sweetheart have experienced that grief of loss that accompanies the unwanted information that our beloved is taking their body, heart and soul into the embrace of someone else.
The necessity to own or need things – non-material as well as material – is assumed to be a comfort that cushions us against the hurts and trials of life. We are assured that the more we have, the more comfortable (that is, cushioned) we will be.
Breaking habits can be difficult.
It means letting go of the things we think we own or need.
Sometimes we try to find a middle path, to hold onto our lacks, our hurts, our fears and addictions – and still find a new way to live.
This is like ‘the Thompsons’ who had always lived in a cottage in the country. They decided to travel and see the world. But they couldn’t bear to let go of their comforts, their cottage, so they put it on wheels and, although it was too wide for any road other than the expressway they insisted on carting it everywhere behind them…..
Some of us therefore ‘try’ to live with a new, spiritual approach to life without really being willing to totally let go of the old. We want to bring it with us.
So we have a moment of peace, another of anger.
A moment of love, then another of hate.
A long pause of peace, then a short burst of violence.
A flash of patience, then a splash of intolerance.
A space filled with harmony, then a place filled with angst.
One moment of optimism, a following moment of negativity.
As long as we attempt to attach new behaviours to old habits we will find ourselves in a place of confusion. Every sunlit moment of love and peace will find itself overshadowed by clouds of hurt and despair.
Only by first removing our old habits can we fill ourselves with new expressions of wholeness.
Just as a child, holding its hands tightly together to retain water from a stream must first release its catch in order to refresh its supply, so must we be willing to release our dis-empowering habits in order to embrace our true greatness.
Negativity is but the ego arguing for its survival by assuring us we have lacks and losses, pains and fears and every reason to be distrustful, resentful, selfish and self-centred.
The end of ego is the beginning of truth.
In this sacred space nothing argues for survival, nothing recognises negativity of any kind.
In this space, we are love, loving, loveable and infinitely loved by Spirit and the Divine.
Trying ceases; only being…..being love…… exists.
An Affirmation: I cease trying and choose to simply be, grateful beyond measure – for I am being…. being love!
More in a fortnight!
Blessings and Love,